I want to comment on Wings-andgrace’s post here. I’m not reblogging it because I have no wish to intrude or be provocative, but there are a couple of points I’d like to flag.
1. Quote: “good to know I’m considered a fragile little victim.”
The image some people around Andy have of victimhood is appalling. This kind of mentality is pure victim-blaming, as if it is fragility that somehow attracts abuse. No. It’s not fragility that makes a victim. It’s an abuser that makes a victim, and an abuser may seek to abuse anybody, “fragile” or not.
2. Quote: “Underhanded, a bit rude, and definitely selfish. Also sounds pretty damned human. … I understand that as a good manipulation tactic.”
Wow. Engaging in manipulative tactics in relationships with other people is just human. I don’t think so. Also, Del has just described how his mother manipulated and abused others, and Wings handwaves this, as if it’s just some ordinary thing that Del—who was abused by a mother with NPD—is making a big deal out of. Again, utterly dismissive of a victim.
And once more, Wings is immune because she’s not a “fragile little victim”, she’ll ask Andy for repayment of money. Disregarding the fact that Del was offering an example of manipulative behavior, not the only form of it
3. Quote: “And he’s been officiall diagnosed with NPD? Has he said that? Has anyone said that?”
Pretty much, and that’s someone who knew him very well. But she knows well there is no paperwork. So demanding it is another silencing tactic.
So Wings may laugh all she likes, but there is nothing funny about her victim-blaming and her manipulative methods of ignoring and trying to silence Andy’s detractors. I wonder if we are seeing Andy’s influence here, some quiet theme in his interactions with friends that reassures them that strong, un-fragile people like them can’t possibly be victims. What a neat method of ensnaring someone, if so.